I started many months ago, and I finally finished revising the existing books in The Maze to extract the distasteful aspect it had before. Book 7 is coming along, but I've been mired in something else for the moment. It will open with a foreward to explain to anyone who did read the previous books what changed and why. That will be the only official mention of it in the books themselves. After awhile, I'll remove it and let the series move forward without any memory of what came before.
I can't promise precise release dates in the future, but they'll come here and there. Lots of ideas. Bright future.
Monday, December 30, 2019
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
The Maze Re-release Update
Since May, I've reread all of the existing material (after another hiatus). Books 1-6 are either available, or they will be in the coming weeks. I'm starting to go through book 7, and I intend to finish it.
Going back through this series has been nice after so long away from it. I got to see me develop as a writer from the first one, originally begun in 2013, to the newest one finished during a flurry of writing in 2017. It's amazing to see how far they've come and to see myself improve through them.
Each one gets better and reads faster. They'll finally be ready to show again. Join me in The Maze.
Going back through this series has been nice after so long away from it. I got to see me develop as a writer from the first one, originally begun in 2013, to the newest one finished during a flurry of writing in 2017. It's amazing to see how far they've come and to see myself improve through them.
Each one gets better and reads faster. They'll finally be ready to show again. Join me in The Maze.
Friday, May 31, 2019
Rerelease of The Maze
Following a football game in September 2017, a member of the Pride of Broken Arrow marching band jumped to his death from the top of the football stands. It was one of the rare times when a band rehearsal was canceled the following day to allow time for discussion and healing over the loss of a friend. While I did not know him personally, the incident caused me to look hard at the series I had created where people who committed suicide were picked up by a machine called The Maze as an act of redemption. My books have not historically had a large readership, so I could take some solace in knowing this child had not read my stories and taken any leads from them. This did not chance the fact that book one opened with a detailed representation of a woman standing on the roof of a building before letting herself fall to her death. Yes, she was saved in the story, but at the end of the prologue, you didn't know that.
I never liked the suicide aspect of The Maze. Ever. It was one of the base fundamental roots of the story, but I always hated it. Through the years, I always wanted there to be a better way, and my mind never left that idea. Book 1 had been continuously available since 2013 while books 2 through 6 had only been up since late 2017, but in June 2018, I pulled them all down. I had an idea, but it needed development. The people in the Maze were no longer going to be suicide victims.
I knew the change would be hard since the idea permeated not only the characters' backstories, but every idea I had moving forward for future characters. It was mentioned in conversation popping up now and then throughout the story especially when doubts of one's place were expressed. The prologue and first couple chapters of book 1 required a complete overhaul since it dealt exclusively with what happened and what led the character to commit the act.
Once those chapters were redone, I had to reread everything to catch every single reference to suicide made everywhere along with modifying methods taken, reasons given, etc. Three main characters meant three backstories needed heavy modification to still lead them to the Maze in a dramatic way, but revised so that the backstory still worked in context and had a satisfying conclusion without its original ending.
At the time of this post, I have completely reread book 1, and I've done multiple searches for key words in book 2 to locate discussions of suicide and backstories.
The bottom line here is that suicide isn't a joke. It isn't some method an author should use to track characters into a story when there are better ways of doing it. It's ok to talk about it. It's ok to build a story that deals with it. But my stories didn't do that. Instead, I used it flippantly as a method to get things rollings before forgetting all about it and moving on. when it happens, people don't just forget about it. It affects everyone in a wide circle like those ripples in the water.
The victim in 2017 was part of a musical group. They spent a lot of time together. His section was hit the hardest because they knew him the best. My youngest wasn't in the marching band at that point, but she plays the same instrument, so when she heard what he played, she was impacted even though she didn't know him. Musicians stick together. When I meet another trombone player, it's akin to fraternity brothers from different chapters meeting. Instant bond. So not knowing him, she felt like she lost a member of her section family. This rippled out through the band who lost one of their own, and a band as a whole is a family. They spend a lot of time together and know each other across the sections. As a parent and an alumnus of the band, I was dumbfounded as well. I know how close everyone gets, and even with his band family so close and having music be a part of his life, he still did what he did.
I had to make a change. I could not have that element be an integral part of entering my story. I could not risk this series be any kind of success and let people know that the way to get in is to try to kill yourself and hope for the best. That's something I could not live with. People are very impressionable. They wait for their letter from Hogwarts. They try to use the Force. They watch the skies for Superman. They wonder if their car is really a car or changes into a robot at night. They drive on deserted roads hoping to be abducted by aliens. They wait for the Doctor and the Tardis. I couldn't be the guy whose entry on that list was: and they throw themselves from bridges hoping to get picked up by the Maze. No. That would not be my legacy.
So now, if you've read the first book of the Maze, you'll find a new prologue. It doesn't start on a rooftop but inside an apartment. Michelle is still depressed, but instead of jumping to her death, she is making do with drinking away her troubles and watching the ceiling fan spin. Instead of a mysterious "matter transporter" to snap her away, the elevator we know and love opens up in her living room, its light blasting through the gloom to invite her to enter it. It is no spoiler to say she does though it's fair to say that with as much as she had to drink, she thought she was hallucinating until she woke up in a new place with new people and a new adventure ahead of her.
If you've read my books before, thank you so much for your support, and if you haven't, welcome to my worlds. The Maze will be re-released over the next couple of months culminating in the long awaited seventh book in the series, originally slated for November 2017 before life imploded. Thanks and enjoy.
I never liked the suicide aspect of The Maze. Ever. It was one of the base fundamental roots of the story, but I always hated it. Through the years, I always wanted there to be a better way, and my mind never left that idea. Book 1 had been continuously available since 2013 while books 2 through 6 had only been up since late 2017, but in June 2018, I pulled them all down. I had an idea, but it needed development. The people in the Maze were no longer going to be suicide victims.
I knew the change would be hard since the idea permeated not only the characters' backstories, but every idea I had moving forward for future characters. It was mentioned in conversation popping up now and then throughout the story especially when doubts of one's place were expressed. The prologue and first couple chapters of book 1 required a complete overhaul since it dealt exclusively with what happened and what led the character to commit the act.
Once those chapters were redone, I had to reread everything to catch every single reference to suicide made everywhere along with modifying methods taken, reasons given, etc. Three main characters meant three backstories needed heavy modification to still lead them to the Maze in a dramatic way, but revised so that the backstory still worked in context and had a satisfying conclusion without its original ending.
At the time of this post, I have completely reread book 1, and I've done multiple searches for key words in book 2 to locate discussions of suicide and backstories.
The bottom line here is that suicide isn't a joke. It isn't some method an author should use to track characters into a story when there are better ways of doing it. It's ok to talk about it. It's ok to build a story that deals with it. But my stories didn't do that. Instead, I used it flippantly as a method to get things rollings before forgetting all about it and moving on. when it happens, people don't just forget about it. It affects everyone in a wide circle like those ripples in the water.
The victim in 2017 was part of a musical group. They spent a lot of time together. His section was hit the hardest because they knew him the best. My youngest wasn't in the marching band at that point, but she plays the same instrument, so when she heard what he played, she was impacted even though she didn't know him. Musicians stick together. When I meet another trombone player, it's akin to fraternity brothers from different chapters meeting. Instant bond. So not knowing him, she felt like she lost a member of her section family. This rippled out through the band who lost one of their own, and a band as a whole is a family. They spend a lot of time together and know each other across the sections. As a parent and an alumnus of the band, I was dumbfounded as well. I know how close everyone gets, and even with his band family so close and having music be a part of his life, he still did what he did.
I had to make a change. I could not have that element be an integral part of entering my story. I could not risk this series be any kind of success and let people know that the way to get in is to try to kill yourself and hope for the best. That's something I could not live with. People are very impressionable. They wait for their letter from Hogwarts. They try to use the Force. They watch the skies for Superman. They wonder if their car is really a car or changes into a robot at night. They drive on deserted roads hoping to be abducted by aliens. They wait for the Doctor and the Tardis. I couldn't be the guy whose entry on that list was: and they throw themselves from bridges hoping to get picked up by the Maze. No. That would not be my legacy.
So now, if you've read the first book of the Maze, you'll find a new prologue. It doesn't start on a rooftop but inside an apartment. Michelle is still depressed, but instead of jumping to her death, she is making do with drinking away her troubles and watching the ceiling fan spin. Instead of a mysterious "matter transporter" to snap her away, the elevator we know and love opens up in her living room, its light blasting through the gloom to invite her to enter it. It is no spoiler to say she does though it's fair to say that with as much as she had to drink, she thought she was hallucinating until she woke up in a new place with new people and a new adventure ahead of her.
If you've read my books before, thank you so much for your support, and if you haven't, welcome to my worlds. The Maze will be re-released over the next couple of months culminating in the long awaited seventh book in the series, originally slated for November 2017 before life imploded. Thanks and enjoy.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
Limbo
Greetings out there. If you have looked at Amazon recently, you may notice that the Fempiror and Maze books are not currently available for purchase. This is because of the relaunch effort that is going on behind the scenes. Amazon will still bring these up in search results, but any opportunity to purchase them right now is somehow coming from third party sellers, who are likely trying to print them from Createspace and collecting some kind of intermediary profit. Well, it isn't possible to attain them at all right now, and I know for sure that unless someone bought one of the very, very copies that ever sold, there is no way to get one at this time. You'll never see those old covers for sale again.
In a few weeks, the rerelease will come and there will be new covers, but the content of the previously released books will be the same. Well, mostly. There will be some typo correction and I shuffled something around in Fempiror 1, but it's the same stuff.
After that... Ah, after that. How about Fempiror 5? Or Maze 2 and beyond? Yup, I'm writing like a maniac, and this time, I'm following through. More to follow, but for now, don't get scalped on my books.
In a few weeks, the rerelease will come and there will be new covers, but the content of the previously released books will be the same. Well, mostly. There will be some typo correction and I shuffled something around in Fempiror 1, but it's the same stuff.
After that... Ah, after that. How about Fempiror 5? Or Maze 2 and beyond? Yup, I'm writing like a maniac, and this time, I'm following through. More to follow, but for now, don't get scalped on my books.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
It's Gonna Be The Future Soon
Big changes are coming. After eight years of sitting quietly on Amazon, I'm going to pull five of my books, give them a new cover, revisit their titles, and give them a fresh release. Every two weeks one of these will be hitting the store, but that's not all.I have felt a rebirth on the writing side, and I've been writing every day. This has resulted in half a Fempiror novel in the last week, and I hope to finish over the next one. I have a 2nd Maze book finished already, and I plan to complete them in time to hit between the Fempiror novels of the same numerical designations. Once Fempiror 5 is complete, I will write a couple Maze books before doing Fempiror 6. From there, I plan to alternate writing Fempiror and Maze series books as fast as possible so that there is never a lack for these stories.
Fempiror, as a reminder, is my story of genetically altered warriors from the past who live a very long time and have some sweet tech as a result. They play with the vampire tropes without ever crossing into vampire territory which adds an element of interest to this very heavily fantasy influenced series.
The Maze, by contrast, is mostly straight-up sci-fi, but it's all about time travel. Three people live in something they only know as the Maze that drops them at various points in history across the universe to complete something. They just don't know what. It has some significant differences from Doctor Who, but enough in common that fans of the BBC series will enjoy it.
I'll be creating a mailing list fairly soon, so perhaps you'll want to sign up for that to get more updates as they occur. Stay tuned.
Fempiror, as a reminder, is my story of genetically altered warriors from the past who live a very long time and have some sweet tech as a result. They play with the vampire tropes without ever crossing into vampire territory which adds an element of interest to this very heavily fantasy influenced series.
The Maze, by contrast, is mostly straight-up sci-fi, but it's all about time travel. Three people live in something they only know as the Maze that drops them at various points in history across the universe to complete something. They just don't know what. It has some significant differences from Doctor Who, but enough in common that fans of the BBC series will enjoy it.
I'll be creating a mailing list fairly soon, so perhaps you'll want to sign up for that to get more updates as they occur. Stay tuned.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Unusual words
Being a writer, I like a wide variety of words, and over the years, I've amassed quite a few words that have some specific meanings that English doesn't have a word for. Some of these I've pulled from other languages, some were swiped from a couple of articles on Cracked.com about words, but I figured I'd share them all right here today.
grevaldor (noun) - (pronounced grev-ALL-door) a parent who has experienced the death of a child. A person who has lost a child. Based on the Old French grever which is the root word for grieve and Old English ealdor for parent.
prepone (verb) - to rescheduled something to occur prior to its previously scheduled time. The opposite of postpone.
stinn (noun) - a person who is standing in a stationary position blocking whatever it is you need to do for no discernable reason. This most often applies to two people talking in front of a sink or water cooler without actually using those items. Sentences: "I needed to refill my water, but I couldn't make the stinn move." "The stinns were blind to the world talking football in front of the restroom door, so I figured I'd just go upstairs."
prax (noun) - Anyone trying to sneak more than the posted maximum allowed items in an express lane at a grocery store. "It clearly says 10 items or less, and that prax has 15."
prax (verb) - the act of taking more than the posted maximum allowed item in an express lane at a grocery store. "You'll never be able to prax with that many items." Future sign at an express lane: "No Praxing"
drevend (noun) - an item you want to deal with or accomplish at some point, but probably never will. Usually part of a list of other, similar items. "He ranked reading the Bible with the other drevends in his life." "As they searched through his effects, one drevend after another revealed itself." "The 1001 movies you must watch before you die is more of a list of drevends than something anyone might actually do."
neech (noun) - An inevitable, obvious, and often childish, comeback or notion (that may or may not be clever) that someone (who clearly thinks they are clever) felt they had to say eventually about a subject. "I had to concede to the neech that yes, Queen of Hearts does sound like Queen of Farts." "Yes, I have heard the neech that the Retardis was the slower second version of the Tardis."
requiz (verb) - 1. to ask the same question over and over again. 2. to ask an incessant number of questions past the point of logical understanding of the subject. requizzer (noun) someone who requizzes. "The new person has requizzed me so many times, I'm not sure they'll understand." "How many times can we requiz this subject?" "I try to steer clear of requizzers. Too much time lost."
probochondriac (noun) - someone who has the same problem over and over again. "This probochondriac has managed to break their PC a dozen times this week."
Slacosphere (noun) - 1. a region consisting of a cluster of non-productive people, aka slackers. "Henderson works up on the 17th floor in the slacosphere with the rest of those boneheads." 2. a room designed for the sole purpose of avoiding productivity. "Have a seat on the comfy couch and check out my new 84" flatscreen, the centerpiece of my slacosphere."
rollaction (noun), rollact (verb) - the literal eye roll or reaction your wife gives when you do those weird little things she loves about you that she rolls her eyes at every time. "Tell that joke she's heard before? She rollacts as expected."
backashan - a beautiful girl, as long as she is viewed from behind. Similar to butterface, as in everything about her its hot but her face. Etymology: from Japanese Bakku-Shan
stairway comeback - when you think if the perfect verbal comeback...much too late - Etymology: Espirit d'escalier (French)
Lapinye - a look between two people that suggests a shared, unspoken desire - Etymology: Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan)
Backfang - a person with a face badly in need of a fist. As in smug or not knowing when not to say something stupid or embarrassing - Etymology: Backpfeifengesicht (German)
Nunchi - the art of not becoming a backfang (backpfeifengesicht). As in knowing when not to say something to get punched. - Etymology: Nunchi (Korean)
Shlematzle - someone who had nothing but bad luck - Etymology: Shlimazl (Yiddish)
Tatamay & honay (ta-ta-may & hoe-nay) - what you pretend to believe and what you actually believe, respectively. - Etymology: Tatemae & honne (Japanese)
Malareach - when people interrupt you at meal time - Etymology: Sgiomlaireachd (Scottish gaelic)
Tingo - to borrow from a friend until he has nothing left - Etymology: Tingo (Pascuense)
macgyver - to pull a MacGyver. The art of slapping together a solution to a problem at the last minute with no advanced planning and no resources. - Etymology: Desenrascanco (Portuguese)
Shemojam - to eat past the point if being full just because the food tastes good. Lit. I accidentally ate the whole thing - Etymology: Shemomedjamo (Georgian)
sad-weight - excess weight gained from emotional overeating. - Etymology: Kummerspeck (German) Lit. Grief bacon
Kikamore - a teenager or 20 something who has withdrawn from society, often obsessed with TV and video games. - Etymology: Hikikomori (Japanese)
Nomborshule - an answer that is unrelated to the question. ex. to give a nomborshule. - Etymology: Gadrii nombor shulen jongu (Tibetan) Lit. Giving a green answer to a blue question
dorcheck - to go outside to check if an expected visitor has arrived, over and over again. - Etymology: Iktsuarpok (Inuit)
Kail - an ugly miserable woman who yells obscenities at her kids - Etymology: Kaelling (Danish)
snidebow - a building (often little our no value to the proprietor) constructed with the sole purpose of harassing or inconveniencing his neighbor in some way. - Etymology: Neidbau (German) Lit. Envy building
grammar nazi - a person who believes it is their destiny to stamp out all spelling and punctuation mistakes at the cost of popularity, self-esteem, and mental well-being. Etymology: Pilkunnussija (Finnish) Lit. Comma Fuckers
==
Butterface - A person, usually a girl, who is beautiful everywhere except in the face.
Lie-chiatrist - An unqualifie person who diagnoses themselves with a mental illness that they don't actually have, for the sole purpose of using it as an easy go-to excuse for their irresponsible behavior.
Gasterval - the period between when a relationship starts and when you first openly fart in front of your partner
Bleakfast - the first meal of the day, consisting of cold leftover from the night before
Intelliduh - stupid actions or words by an otherwise intelligent person
slocking - a popular online pastime best known for being cruise control for cool (having something to do with CAPS LOCK)
zeitgaffe - a cultural reference that is sufficiently inaccurate or outdated to demonstrate that the make of the reference is out of touch with, or separate from, the prevailing group
malamorous - Of a villain in a work, being appealing to fans despite being the antagonist of the work, often because of handsome appearance or justifiable motivation
Friendstipation - the inability to poop when somebody you know might hear
Necroliker - someone who likes a post on Facebook about the loss of a loved one.
Xacuate - The process of attempting to rapidly close a web page before it can be seen by someone else.
Gamacho - The undeserved sense of grandeur and arrogance an individual gets at winning a video game, often making the game miserable for other players.
Wikinius - a person who claims to be an expert in a cetain topic when it's clear they've only read the wikipedia entry on it.
Factoidiot (fack-TOID-ee-uht) - 1. a person who (often incorrectly) quotes a movie or TV show they've never seen. 2. A person who repeats a bit of trivia and knows nothing else about the subject.
yammertia - The resistance of a tiresome, one-sided conversation to any change in its state of motion
apostraphy - The phenomenon of losing supporters in an Internet argument due to the inability to express oneself in proper grammar, orthography, and punctuation.
obstacolleague - a co-worker whose inability to work well (or work at all) forces you to neglect your own duties - so you can fix their mess.
Meeternity - 1. An unproductive business meeting that feels as if it will never end. 2. A string of pointless meetings that last all day halting productivity.
Malaproboner - an inappropriate or inopportune erection of the penis
Consterpation - 1. a long, painful conversation in which every word in a struggle to get out. 2. an awkward dialogue characterized by long pauses and uncomfortable silences.
McRibocrite - a person who complains about how disgusting fast food is, but eats it anyway.
Camoufanning - turning on a bathroom fan to muffle pooping noises
Interawktion - a moment wherein you and a person you've just met share an uncomfortable silence because you've shared something overly weird and/or personal
Soapbombing - deliberately steering all conversations towards one particular issue about which you are very outspoken.
cinefalsity - the spontaneous act of lying to someone about seeing a movie or TV show when you know you haven't.
qui-goner - a character who you always knew was going to die, right from the first scene.
Eleventurer - a master of one-upmanship. the person given to articulating the details of his possessions and his accomplishments deemed to be superior to any you might mention: his higer horsepower, more megapixels, better concert seats, longer workout, etc.
Moistery - inexplicable dampness
keyjam - the dirt, grime, and gunk found in between the keys of a keyboard
lactease - to place any size container of milk back in a refrigerator with only a half fluid ounce remaining at the bottom.
viewgling - intentional search of the internet for plot points and spoilers of movies, so you never again have to hear people gasp when you tell them that you haven't seen Godfather II.
greatsgusting - you knew it was disgusting, but you ate it anyway. And it was delicious.
ninjestrians - people dressed in dark clothing walking along unlighted roads at night
sortamatopoeia - a word for something that doesn't make a sound, but if it did, would sound exactly like that word. ex. bling, slink, glisten
======
"Farpotshket" (Yiddish) - Something that was a little bit broken ... until you tried to fix it. Now it's totally screwed.
"Yaourt" (French) - To sing along in nonsensical noises that vaguely resemble the lyrics of a song.
"Attaccabottoni" (Italian) - A person who corners you to tell you long, meaningless stories, usually about his oh-so-miserable life.
"Epibreren" (Dutch) - Pretending that you're doing something super important, while in reality you're being super lazy.
"Soare cu Dinti" (Romanian) - Weather that looks great until you actually step out in it. Specifically, a beautiful sunny but frigid day.
"Utepils" (Norwegian) - That first beer you drink outside when the weather finally turns warm.
"Drachenfutter" (German) - A gift a man gives to his wife to apologize when he's done something stupid (typically staying out way too late).
"Tartle" (Scots) - The momentary consternation you feel when you go to introduce someone and realize that you've forgotten his or her name. Can also function as a verb.
grevaldor (noun) - (pronounced grev-ALL-door) a parent who has experienced the death of a child. A person who has lost a child. Based on the Old French grever which is the root word for grieve and Old English ealdor for parent.
prepone (verb) - to rescheduled something to occur prior to its previously scheduled time. The opposite of postpone.
stinn (noun) - a person who is standing in a stationary position blocking whatever it is you need to do for no discernable reason. This most often applies to two people talking in front of a sink or water cooler without actually using those items. Sentences: "I needed to refill my water, but I couldn't make the stinn move." "The stinns were blind to the world talking football in front of the restroom door, so I figured I'd just go upstairs."
prax (noun) - Anyone trying to sneak more than the posted maximum allowed items in an express lane at a grocery store. "It clearly says 10 items or less, and that prax has 15."
prax (verb) - the act of taking more than the posted maximum allowed item in an express lane at a grocery store. "You'll never be able to prax with that many items." Future sign at an express lane: "No Praxing"
drevend (noun) - an item you want to deal with or accomplish at some point, but probably never will. Usually part of a list of other, similar items. "He ranked reading the Bible with the other drevends in his life." "As they searched through his effects, one drevend after another revealed itself." "The 1001 movies you must watch before you die is more of a list of drevends than something anyone might actually do."
neech (noun) - An inevitable, obvious, and often childish, comeback or notion (that may or may not be clever) that someone (who clearly thinks they are clever) felt they had to say eventually about a subject. "I had to concede to the neech that yes, Queen of Hearts does sound like Queen of Farts." "Yes, I have heard the neech that the Retardis was the slower second version of the Tardis."
requiz (verb) - 1. to ask the same question over and over again. 2. to ask an incessant number of questions past the point of logical understanding of the subject. requizzer (noun) someone who requizzes. "The new person has requizzed me so many times, I'm not sure they'll understand." "How many times can we requiz this subject?" "I try to steer clear of requizzers. Too much time lost."
probochondriac (noun) - someone who has the same problem over and over again. "This probochondriac has managed to break their PC a dozen times this week."
Slacosphere (noun) - 1. a region consisting of a cluster of non-productive people, aka slackers. "Henderson works up on the 17th floor in the slacosphere with the rest of those boneheads." 2. a room designed for the sole purpose of avoiding productivity. "Have a seat on the comfy couch and check out my new 84" flatscreen, the centerpiece of my slacosphere."
rollaction (noun), rollact (verb) - the literal eye roll or reaction your wife gives when you do those weird little things she loves about you that she rolls her eyes at every time. "Tell that joke she's heard before? She rollacts as expected."
backashan - a beautiful girl, as long as she is viewed from behind. Similar to butterface, as in everything about her its hot but her face. Etymology: from Japanese Bakku-Shan
stairway comeback - when you think if the perfect verbal comeback...much too late - Etymology: Espirit d'escalier (French)
Lapinye - a look between two people that suggests a shared, unspoken desire - Etymology: Mamihlapinatapai (Yaghan)
Backfang - a person with a face badly in need of a fist. As in smug or not knowing when not to say something stupid or embarrassing - Etymology: Backpfeifengesicht (German)
Nunchi - the art of not becoming a backfang (backpfeifengesicht). As in knowing when not to say something to get punched. - Etymology: Nunchi (Korean)
Shlematzle - someone who had nothing but bad luck - Etymology: Shlimazl (Yiddish)
Tatamay & honay (ta-ta-may & hoe-nay) - what you pretend to believe and what you actually believe, respectively. - Etymology: Tatemae & honne (Japanese)
Malareach - when people interrupt you at meal time - Etymology: Sgiomlaireachd (Scottish gaelic)
Tingo - to borrow from a friend until he has nothing left - Etymology: Tingo (Pascuense)
macgyver - to pull a MacGyver. The art of slapping together a solution to a problem at the last minute with no advanced planning and no resources. - Etymology: Desenrascanco (Portuguese)
Shemojam - to eat past the point if being full just because the food tastes good. Lit. I accidentally ate the whole thing - Etymology: Shemomedjamo (Georgian)
sad-weight - excess weight gained from emotional overeating. - Etymology: Kummerspeck (German) Lit. Grief bacon
Kikamore - a teenager or 20 something who has withdrawn from society, often obsessed with TV and video games. - Etymology: Hikikomori (Japanese)
Nomborshule - an answer that is unrelated to the question. ex. to give a nomborshule. - Etymology: Gadrii nombor shulen jongu (Tibetan) Lit. Giving a green answer to a blue question
dorcheck - to go outside to check if an expected visitor has arrived, over and over again. - Etymology: Iktsuarpok (Inuit)
Kail - an ugly miserable woman who yells obscenities at her kids - Etymology: Kaelling (Danish)
snidebow - a building (often little our no value to the proprietor) constructed with the sole purpose of harassing or inconveniencing his neighbor in some way. - Etymology: Neidbau (German) Lit. Envy building
grammar nazi - a person who believes it is their destiny to stamp out all spelling and punctuation mistakes at the cost of popularity, self-esteem, and mental well-being. Etymology: Pilkunnussija (Finnish) Lit. Comma Fuckers
==
Butterface - A person, usually a girl, who is beautiful everywhere except in the face.
Lie-chiatrist - An unqualifie person who diagnoses themselves with a mental illness that they don't actually have, for the sole purpose of using it as an easy go-to excuse for their irresponsible behavior.
Gasterval - the period between when a relationship starts and when you first openly fart in front of your partner
Bleakfast - the first meal of the day, consisting of cold leftover from the night before
Intelliduh - stupid actions or words by an otherwise intelligent person
slocking - a popular online pastime best known for being cruise control for cool (having something to do with CAPS LOCK)
zeitgaffe - a cultural reference that is sufficiently inaccurate or outdated to demonstrate that the make of the reference is out of touch with, or separate from, the prevailing group
malamorous - Of a villain in a work, being appealing to fans despite being the antagonist of the work, often because of handsome appearance or justifiable motivation
Friendstipation - the inability to poop when somebody you know might hear
Necroliker - someone who likes a post on Facebook about the loss of a loved one.
Xacuate - The process of attempting to rapidly close a web page before it can be seen by someone else.
Gamacho - The undeserved sense of grandeur and arrogance an individual gets at winning a video game, often making the game miserable for other players.
Wikinius - a person who claims to be an expert in a cetain topic when it's clear they've only read the wikipedia entry on it.
Factoidiot (fack-TOID-ee-uht) - 1. a person who (often incorrectly) quotes a movie or TV show they've never seen. 2. A person who repeats a bit of trivia and knows nothing else about the subject.
yammertia - The resistance of a tiresome, one-sided conversation to any change in its state of motion
apostraphy - The phenomenon of losing supporters in an Internet argument due to the inability to express oneself in proper grammar, orthography, and punctuation.
obstacolleague - a co-worker whose inability to work well (or work at all) forces you to neglect your own duties - so you can fix their mess.
Meeternity - 1. An unproductive business meeting that feels as if it will never end. 2. A string of pointless meetings that last all day halting productivity.
Malaproboner - an inappropriate or inopportune erection of the penis
Consterpation - 1. a long, painful conversation in which every word in a struggle to get out. 2. an awkward dialogue characterized by long pauses and uncomfortable silences.
McRibocrite - a person who complains about how disgusting fast food is, but eats it anyway.
Camoufanning - turning on a bathroom fan to muffle pooping noises
Interawktion - a moment wherein you and a person you've just met share an uncomfortable silence because you've shared something overly weird and/or personal
Soapbombing - deliberately steering all conversations towards one particular issue about which you are very outspoken.
cinefalsity - the spontaneous act of lying to someone about seeing a movie or TV show when you know you haven't.
qui-goner - a character who you always knew was going to die, right from the first scene.
Eleventurer - a master of one-upmanship. the person given to articulating the details of his possessions and his accomplishments deemed to be superior to any you might mention: his higer horsepower, more megapixels, better concert seats, longer workout, etc.
Moistery - inexplicable dampness
keyjam - the dirt, grime, and gunk found in between the keys of a keyboard
lactease - to place any size container of milk back in a refrigerator with only a half fluid ounce remaining at the bottom.
viewgling - intentional search of the internet for plot points and spoilers of movies, so you never again have to hear people gasp when you tell them that you haven't seen Godfather II.
greatsgusting - you knew it was disgusting, but you ate it anyway. And it was delicious.
ninjestrians - people dressed in dark clothing walking along unlighted roads at night
sortamatopoeia - a word for something that doesn't make a sound, but if it did, would sound exactly like that word. ex. bling, slink, glisten
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"Farpotshket" (Yiddish) - Something that was a little bit broken ... until you tried to fix it. Now it's totally screwed.
"Yaourt" (French) - To sing along in nonsensical noises that vaguely resemble the lyrics of a song.
"Attaccabottoni" (Italian) - A person who corners you to tell you long, meaningless stories, usually about his oh-so-miserable life.
"Epibreren" (Dutch) - Pretending that you're doing something super important, while in reality you're being super lazy.
"Soare cu Dinti" (Romanian) - Weather that looks great until you actually step out in it. Specifically, a beautiful sunny but frigid day.
"Utepils" (Norwegian) - That first beer you drink outside when the weather finally turns warm.
"Drachenfutter" (German) - A gift a man gives to his wife to apologize when he's done something stupid (typically staying out way too late).
"Tartle" (Scots) - The momentary consternation you feel when you go to introduce someone and realize that you've forgotten his or her name. Can also function as a verb.
Monday, August 8, 2016
August 8 Update
Due to a variety of happenings, I've not gotten further through the next Fempiror or Maze books. I did get The Maze 2 over a hump where it had been stuck for awhile, and currently, it is quite tense. The problem has been finding the time to write. Rest assured that I am not abandoning either of these projects, nor are they "on hold." I will complete them when I can. At the moment, I have having trouble making the time.
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